"There are many topics that I could have chosen to write about for this first series but my heart is burdened with one topic in particular at the moment, singleness. More specifically a burden for single men. Why? Because the vast majority of young men in the church that I have come into contact with over the last ten years (there are exceptions to this), since being saved, has revealed a common trajectory. I have consistently seen young men living laissez-faire lives in the things that matter. I have consistently seen young men showing more concern for being cool and popular over having sound biblical convictions. I have consistently seen young men have such a comfortability with sin that fleeing sin is viewed as too extreme. I have consistently seen young men so focused on talking a good relationship “game” that godly character takes a backseat. The amount of men in their twenties who are seeking to be godly is pitifully small!
We need convictional men that can’t get enough of God’s word (Psalm 119:20). Convictional men that are growing in their understanding of the great doctrines of Scripture (1 Timothy 4:6-8). Convictional men that are intentional and constant in prayer (Colossians 4:2; Romans 12:12c). Convictional men who are boldly living out the truth and pursuing holiness (1 Timothy 4:12; 1 Peter 1:13-16). Convictional men who are unashamed in sharing the gospel (Romans 1:16-17). Convictional men who sacrifice to compassionately love and serve others (Philippians 2:3-4). Convictional men who are generous and good stewards with all the Lord has given them (1 Timothy 6:17-19; Romans 12:13). We desperately need these kinds of men! Gentlemen your future marriage is a picture of the gospel (Ephesians 5:25-32). If you are not actively modeling the gospel in your singleness you will not model the gospel in your marriage. What you do or don’t do in this season of singleness will impact the rest of your life. It is a myth that you can presently live with a YOLO mentality and your future family will escape unscathed. If you are not denying yourself now in the pursuit of Christ, you will not deny yourself in the pursuit of your wife when you are married. So why do I write this series? Because, single men, my heart aches with the desire that “Christ be formed in you” (Galatians 4:19) and that you would fight the battles that really matter! Your future wife and future kids need this. Your church, friends, and coworkers need this. Our country and ultimately the world needs you to be this kind of man (Matthew 28:18-20).
Before we launch into this first series, I want to offer a couple of clarifications:
I am not advocating for getting married later in life and I firmly believe that many in my generation are getting this wrong. I am ultimately more concerned about your character as a man then I am over when or if you get married.
I am twenty-eight. I am in fact single and I have been so for a very long time. You may be wondering if I am desperate? I can boldly say no I am not. While I am not desperate, I must be honest that there are many days that I wrestle with being single and there are some really hard days. While this is not something that I chose or desired, this is what God is His Sovereignty has for me and I am thankful for this good gift from the Lord (Ephesians 1:11; James 1:17). He has called me to joyfully be intentional in all areas of my life no matter the circumstances (Ephesians 5:15-17; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Colossians 1:10-11). This is what I have been doing and will continue to do because, “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14). Ultimately I am content (1 Timothy 6:6) and at peace (Philippians 4:6-7) because He is my Savior, my Lord, my God, my Sovereign King, and my greatest Treasure.
I have learned much in this season of singleness. My desire is to share a biblical perspective and some wisdom from the many hard lessons that I have learned from being single up to this point in life. My hope is also to model 1 Timothy 4:12 in some small way so that the Church may be edified and the King is glorified.
With those clarifications in place let us continue.
The subject of singleness in general and more specifically for men (all that is written applies to both genders but I am gearing the language towards men because of the reasons above), will be expounded on over the course of the next few weeks through a series of posts.
Here is a roadmap of where we are going: First a heart check, second understanding the foundational realities of a truly healthy fear of the Lord and a truly deep love for the Lord, thirdly how this leads to godly intentionality, fourthly how godly intentionality consistently overtime leads to godly convictions, fifthly how truly godly convictions must and will always lead to fleeing sin, sixthly how fleeing sin consistently leads to godly character, seventhly how godly character over a lifetime leads to a godly legacy, and lastly how a godly man that perseveres to the end will receive his reward at the end of the age."
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