Let Me Benefit From You in the Lord: Refresh My Heart in Christ!
"Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ." (Philemon 1:20)
We come now to the moment of truth in Paul's letter to Philemon. The groundwork has been laid. Paul has prepared the soil and plucked the heartstrings of his ministry partner, Mr. Reliable, Philemon.
Paul has spoken warmly of Philemon's faith and love. He has reminded him of Onesimus' genuine (unexpected) conversion. He has highlighted the remarkable power of the gospel to save fugitive sinners, transform messy lives, and mend broken relationships.
Now comes the big ask.
How will Philemon respond?
Will he receive his runaway slave as Christ received him (Romans 5:8)? Will he forgive him? Will he treat him as a beloved brother in Christ? Or will prejudice, cultural norms, and resentment win the day?
As we arrive at verses 17-20, we discover that this passage is about far more than Philemon and Onesimus. It teaches every believer how to honor Christ and refresh the hearts of God's people.
The Influence of a Faithful Christian
One of the recurring themes in Philemon is the refreshing ministry of encouragement.
Earlier in the letter Paul writes:
"Because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother." (Philemon 7)
Philemon had a reputation for strengthening God's people.
His faith was not merely private. His love was not merely theoretical. His Christian life brought comfort, encouragement, and joy to others.
That truth should cause us to pause and reflect.
Whether we realize it or not, every Christian is an influencer.
Our attitudes influence others. Our actions influence others. Our responses to trials influence others. Our obedience influences others.
Philemon's response to Onesimus would undoubtedly influence the entire church at Colossae.
The congregation would be watching.
Would he respond according to the flesh or imitate the perfect example of Christ?
The same question confronts us today: How can we honor Jesus while refreshing the hearts of fellow believers?
The answer is surprisingly simple: By fleshing out the implications of the gospel and living in light of our common union in Christ.
Paul Appeals Rather Than Commands
One of the most beautiful features of this letter is its warm and gracious tone.
Paul possessed apostolic authority.
If he chose, he could have simply issued a command.
Instead, he appeals as a friend, a fellow laborer, and a spiritual father.
Earlier Paul wrote:
"Though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do what is proper, yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you..." (Philemon 8-9)
By the time we reach verse 21, Paul expresses complete confidence in Philemon's obedience.
Why? Because mature believers generally desire to do what is right. They are not perfect. But they are teachable. They are eager to obey the Lord from the heart and not as mere man pleasers.
Paul presses into Philemon's godly reputation and character. He knows his proven track record. Paul is optimistic that Philemon will once again respond to his big ask in a Christ-honoring manner. No matter the cost.
Receive Him as You Would Receive Me!
At the heart of Paul's appeal is this remarkable request:
"If then you regard me a partner, accept him as you would me." (Philemon 17)
What an astonishing statement! Paul asks Philemon to welcome Onesimus exactly as he would welcome the Apostle himself.
Think about that for a moment.
Onesimus had failed. He had sinned. He had wronged his master.
Yet because of the grace of God, Paul now views him differently.
No longer as a renegade runaway. No longer as a lazy and worthless worker.
He is now a beloved brother in Christ. A fellow saint. A valuable co-laborer. A member of God's family.
The gospel changes how we view one another. Our primary identity is no longer rooted in social status, ethnicity, occupation, or background. Our primary identity is found in Christ.
That reality lies at the very heart of Paul's appeal.
Forgiveness and Restoration
Paul goes even further.
He writes:
"But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account." (Philemon 18)
What grace! What mercy! What love! What a picture of the gospel!
Paul is willing to personally absorb the debt in order to facilitate relational reconciliation. He values unity within the of Body of Christ so much he is willing to do whatever he can to foster it.
At the same time, he expects Philemon to forgive Onesimus just as God in Christ had forgiven him (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:12-14).
This is the pattern taught throughout the New Testament. Forgiven people forgive. Recipients of grace extend grace. Those reconciled to God pursue reconciliation with others.
Sadly, this is not always easy. Many Christians struggle to move beyond past offenses. They create a list of offenses (real and perceived) and then wait for the opportune time to use it against someone. Some refuse to forgive. Others continue to define people by their worst mistakes (conveniently erasing their transgressions).
In this glorious letter, Paul calls Philemon to something greater. Receive him. Forgive him. Restore him. Treat him as a beloved brother in the Lord. Lead the entire church by being the first one to welcome Oni into the family!
The Beauty of Our Union in Christ
One of the most glorious truths in Scripture is our shared union with Christ.
Paul captures this reality beautifully elsewhere:
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:28)
The gospel levels the ground at the foot of the cross.
Paul. Philemon. Onesimus. Me and you. All stand before God on the same basis. All are sinners saved by grace. All are united to Christ by grace through faith alone. All (via adoption) are members of the same spiritual family of God.
This truth transforms relationships. It changes how we view one another. It teaches us humility. It cultivates forgiveness. It promotes unity. And it refreshes the hearts of God's people.
Refresh My Heart in Christ
Paul concludes this section with a heartfelt request:
"Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ." (Philemon 20)
What would refresh Paul's heart?
Not money. Not recognition. Not comfort.
Not personal gain.
What would bring him joy was seeing the gospel lived out in real life. Seeing Philemon forgive. Seeing Onesimus restored. Seeing Christian brothers walk worthy of their calling. Seeing the power of Christ displayed in everyday relationships.
The same remains true today. Few things encourage pastors and fellow believers more than watching Christians faithfully apply God's Word.
When believers forgive one another, hearts are refreshed. When reconciliation occurs, hearts are refreshed. When grace triumphs over bitterness, hearts are refreshed. When Christ is honored, hearts are refreshed.
Final Application
How can you honor Christ while refreshing the hearts of God's people?
By living out the implications of the gospel. By extending costly forgiveness. By pursuing reconciliation. By treating fellow believers as treasured family members.
One cannot study the book of Philemon without mentioning the third verse of the beloved Christmas Carol, "O Holy Night!" This song sums up the practical theology of this passage quite well:
"O Holy night! The stars are brightly shining It is the night of our dear Savior's birth./ Long lay the world languishing in sin and error pining 'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth./ A thrill of hope-- the weary world rejoices; For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn./ Fall on your knees; O hear the Angel voices, O night divine, O night when Christ was born/ O night, O Holy night, O night divine!
Truly He taught us to love one another/ His law is love and His Gospel is Peace Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother And in His name, all oppression shall cease. Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise Let all within us Praise His Holy name/ Christ is the Lord; O praise His name forever! His power and glory evermore proclaim!"
By walking in a manner worthy of the Gospel and by celebrating Philemon, Onesimus, and Paul’s spiritual union in Christ- this faithful believer glorified the Lord and refreshed the heart of his pastor and his fellow parishioners!
May God grant us abundant grace to follow suit! Yes, brother and sister, let me benefit from you in the Lord! Refresh my heart in Christ!
