The Most Exasperating and Least Rewarding

Christian author Tim Challies wisely writes about how Christians need to balance a fellow believer's weaknesses against their strengths. A sign of a bitter, angry, self-righteous heart is when you magnify a fellow Christian's weaknesses while ignoring evidences of grace in their life. To sum up, "So while you may always wish every weakness would transform into a strength and every liability become an asset, that will not be true of others any more than it will be true of you." 

Challies writes, "I find few of life’s experiences more exasperating and less rewarding than buying a new car. Among the different brands, there are competing models that vary from one another in only the subtlest ways. And even when you settle on a specific brand and model, there is still the matter of choosing a trim. Inevitably, each trim offers several features you don’t want and lacks several features you do. One trim offers side mirrors that are black instead of the color of the body (I couldn’t care less) but it lacks parking sensors (which I do care about). Another trim has a leather-trimmed shift knob (yawn) but doesn’t have power-adjustable seats (why?). No matter what model you choose, you’ll end up missing some features you’d love and gaining some features you’d rather not have. 

I’ve observed that there is a lot in life that comes bundled in a similar way. Church, for example. If you move to a new town and search for a new church, it’s unlikely you will find one that offers everything you’d prefer a church to offer—every doctrine, every emphasis, every association, every ministry, every preference. You may love the music, but wish there was a greater emphasis on liturgy. You may appreciate the effort that goes into evangelism, but lament the lack of effort that goes into youth ministry. The preaching may be just what you are after, but the small-group ministry is sputtering. Yet churches are bundled—you have to weigh the weaknesses against the strengths and the desirable qualities against the undesirable. Perfection isn’t an option.

Are You Making the Same Mistake as Job’s Friends?

Biblical Counselors Society founder (Nicholas Sevier) asks us to humbly consider if we might be making the same mistake as Job's friends? 

“You have not spoken of me what is right.” — Job 42:7

This charge comes from God’s mouth, not Job’s.

Job’s friends spend thirty-some chapters trying to counsel him toward repentance, because they assume he brought suffering on himself. And God’s verdict at the end of the book is blunt: they are misrepresenting God and, as a result, they are slandering Job.

If Job would only examine himself, confess his sin, and repent, perhaps God would restore him.  Wrong!

The problem isn’t that Job’s friends care too much about personal holiness. The problem is that they have a fundamental misunderstanding of how God relates to His people.

Suffering is not always the result of personal sin, and God does not call us to counsel sin and suffering in the same way.

This distinction is the premise behind the G.R.A.C.E. Pathway — a biblical counseling model built specifically for grief, suffering, and sorrow, as distinct from a model for sin and sanctification. It exists to guard against three specific errors: confronting when comfort is needed, rushing someone to “move on” when God doesn’t require that, and minimizing real pain in the name of theological correctness.

Here’s what each letter means, and how it’s grounded in Scripture.
G — Grieve Honestly Before the Lord

The Bible doesn’t just permit grief — it gives it a liturgy. Roughly a third of the Psalms are laments: raw, unresolved complaints brought directly to God (Ps 13, 22, 42-43, 88). Job’s first act after catastrophic loss is to tear his robe and grieve in the open (Job 1:20). Jeremiah writes an entire book mourning Jerusalem’s fall.

Jesus himself grieved. He wept at Lazarus’s tomb, knowing full well the resurrection was minutes away (Jn 11:35). In Gethsemane he told his closest friends, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” (Matt 26:38) — grief spoken aloud, not suppressed, by the sinless Son of God. Paul never tells the Thessalonians not to grieve their dead, only not to grieve “as others do who have no hope” (1 Thess 4:13). Hope changes how we grieve. It doesn’t cancel the grieving.

In practice: the first move isn’t presumptuous correction — it’s helping people bring their pain to God rather than bury it or vent it.

R — Receive God’s Comfort through His Word, Spirit, and People

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 is the hinge text here: God is “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction.” Comfort originates with God and is designed to flow through people — which is the theological basis for counseling and community care in the first place.

Sins of the Tongue: What God Hates

Ligonier ministries put together an excellent series of articles on Christian speech and the tongue (note James 3).  The following article, "Sins of the Tongue: What God Hates" is well worth the time.  The author reminds us that Christians need to very careful what they say and with what they spread. Pastor Jared Jeter writes, "All sin is destructive, yet few sins have the potential to devastate quite like sins of the tongue. Not only can sins of the tongue produce deep wounds and shatter reputations, but they are also frighteningly easy to commit. It takes only a moment for a careless word to cause irreparable damage. And if a careless word uttered in a moment can cause ruptures, the weightier sins of the tongue can reduce reputations to rubble and bring lives to ruin.

It is no wonder, then, that when Proverbs 6:16–19 lists seven things that the Lord hates to such an extent that He sees them as abominations, three of them are sins of the tongue: a lying tongue; a false witness who breathes out lies; one who sows discord among brothers. The other sins listed here are related to the sins of the tongue. Haughty eyes and a heart that devises wicked plans are dispositions that lead to sins of the tongue, and Scripture frequently connects sins of the tongue with evil desires and unjust bloodshed. Sins of the tongue reveal the sins of the heart. Jesus taught that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:34). Therefore, much more is at stake with sins of the tongue than a seemingly innocent slip of the tongue.

When the ninth commandment teaches that we are not to bear false witness against our neighbor (Ex. 20:16), it has a wide expanse of sins in view, such as slander, gossip, and flattery. Slander involves making false statements that damage a person’s reputation. Gossip bears false witness by spreading or giving ear to damaging talk behind another person’s back, whether that talk involves rumor, suspicion, or an unnecessary disclosure of faults. Flattery bears false witness in a more subtle manner: It offers praise motivated not by truth or love, but by manipulation and self-interest. These examples only begin to show how far the ninth commandment reaches.

One of the best expositions of the Ten Commandments is found in the Westminster Larger Catechism, and it is especially helpful on the ninth commandment. Along with identifying sins that we often associate with the ninth commandment, such as those mentioned above, the catechism lists the following as examples of violations of the ninth commandment (Q&A 145):

• Giving false evidence
• Wittingly pleading for an evil cause
• Calling evil good, and good evil
• Concealing the truth
• Undue silence in a just cause
• Speaking the truth unseasonably, or maliciously to a wrong end
• Aggravating smaller faults
• Unnecessary discovering of infirmities
• Receiving and countenancing evil reports
• Stopping our ears against just defense
• Evil suspicion
• Rejoicing in the disgrace and infamy of others
• Neglecting such things as are of good report

Jesus is All We Need! An Introduction to the Book of Colossians

An Introduction to the Book of Colossians: Jesus is All We Need!

There is a lie that has plagued the church throughout its history: Jesus may be good (and all) but He is not absolutely sufficient.  The (Satanic) half-truth is that we need something more (or else) in addition to the Lord Jesus Christ!

You need Christ—but you also need human wisdom and worldly philosophy.

You need Christ—but you also need a special knowledge or new revelation that other Christians don't possess.

The Apostle Paul wrote the book of Colossians to confront this kind of thinking.

His message is remarkably simple, but profoundly important:

We don't need something more or something else. Christ is sufficient!  All we have and all we need is found in Thee!

That message was desperately needed then and now.

A Small but Healthy Church Facing False Teaching

The book of Colossians was written to believers in the city of Colossae, a city in the Lycus Valley of Asia Minor. The church appears to have been established through the ministry of Epaphras, who had come to faith and apparently brought the gospel back to his hometown.

Paul himself had apparently never visited Colossae.  It was a town that history has long forgotten and was not a notable place.  Yet the caring Christ-like shepherd, Paul, cared deeply about these believers.

While imprisoned, Paul received information about the church and about some of the teachings that were beginning to threaten their understanding of Christ.

The problem was not simply that the Colossians were being tempted to abandon Christianity altogether.

The danger was subtler.

They were being tempted to believe that Christ was not sufficient. They needed Christ, but perhaps they also needed something else. Something more.

And that is one of Satan's favorite strategies.

He doesn't always tell people to reject Christ.

Sometimes he simply convinces them that Christ isn't enough.

The Danger of Adding to Christ

False teaching often begins with something that sounds reasonable.

“Of course you need Jesus.”

But then comes the addition:

“You also need this.”

You need Christ plus human philosophy.

Christ plus religious ritual (ascetism) .

Christ plus mystical experiences and special knowledge (mysticism).

Christ plus human rules and/or regulations (legalism/moralism).

Christ plus something that supposedly makes your faith complete.

But the moment we add something to Christ as necessary for our spiritual standing before God, we have undermined the sufficiency of Christ.

What Is a HEALTHY Church (and what it's not)?

 “A healthy church is not a church that’s perfect and without sin. It’s a church that continually seeks to conform itself to God’s Word.”  

Mark Dever

Evangelical Pharisees and Pharisaic, Self-Righteousness.

If we are honest every Christian is prone to falling back into the ditch of "self-righteousness." Any good bible study or related book on pharisaic, self-righteousness calls for humble self-examination and corresponding confession. May our common prayer be, "Lord have mercy on us!" "And "Father, forgive me for I have fallen short of your glory. Shower us with your grace and help us to grow in true love and true piety."

Christian author Michael Reeves calls pharisaical hypocrisy “the hidden cancer” (12) of the church. Few things tempt believers to pull away from, or even abandon Christ's church more than pharisaic, self-righteousness.  Many sheep roam without a flock, in part, because of this hidden cancer.

Churches that are (more) sound in doctrine can easily become breeding grounds for "holier than thou art" Christianity. Sadly, it took me far too many years of ministry before I really understood this grave danger. Some lessons in life are learned the hard way.  For example, I learned that identifying one's congregation (or allowing members to refer to their own congregation) as a "remnant church" fuels pride that often unintentionally creates an abundance of self-righteous (evangelical) pharisees.  

Fundamental Baptists are certainly not the only churches and graduates that struggle with this "hidden cancer."  “For the Pharisee, it all begins with a basic posture of the heart: looking down. They look down on others as they compare themselves to them. (21)"  Bringing others down while silently elevating self. This sin of comparison and judgement begins in the mind before expressing itself with the mouth (or gavel).  Pharisees strain gnats while swallowing camels under the guise of law-keeping and holiness.

Reeves wisely notes that “There are a number of telltales when Christians fall into the self-reliant mindset of the Pharisee” (48). First among these pharisaical tendencies is the sign of hypocrisy. Quoting C. S. Lewis, Reeves shows that arrogant condemnation is a first cousin to hypocrisy.  The evangelical church has hurt many sheep and damaged its Christian testimony with arrogant condemnations more times than one can count.  Hypocrisy on the other hand seeks to conceal my sin (and/or sin struggles) by seeking to widely broadcast your (supposed) sin(s). “The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the least bad of all sins. All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the pleasure of putting other people in the wrong, of bossing and patronizing, and spoiling sport, and back-biting, the pleasures of power and hatred” (13).

Evangelical Pharisees are often pitiless to those they deem outside their group, but merciful to themselves and those of their own sect (tribe). Thus they violate the heart and soul of Ephesians 4 and the core teaching of Christ in Matthew 7:1-5. They may call themselves trained "peacemakers" but selectively apply the biblical principles of peacemaking (see Ken Sande's 4 G's).  Jesus taught that if one does not, first, remove any and all logs/specks out of their own eye they will not see clearly or judge properly.

Pharisees are also guilty of partiality.  Sinful partiality lies hidden beneath the surface of self-righteous scrutiny. Magnifying the perceived weaknesses and/or real sins of others, while covering up and/or minimizing, their own. Gossip, gluttony, bitterness, pornography, unforgiveness, anger, rebellious children, self-righteousness, and other vices are quietly swept under the rug while demanding others humble themselves via humiliating public confessions.  In the rare event that an evangelical pharisees confesses sin in private they declare their protected tribe as being "blameless" when back in the public spotlight.  Instead of celebrating evidences of grace in the life of fellow redeemed sinners they cast stones.

Additionally, evangelical pharisees proudly judge the apparent humility and genuineness of another's private confession or public repentance while rationalizing away their own logs and excusing their besetting sins!  The Spirit of God reminds us in Scripture, "Who among you is without sin?" Let him who is without sin cast the first stone? Who do we think we are?  

Modern-day Evangelical Pharisees are “not only pitiless but partisan, they eye others with suspicion for the minor defenses that they deem to represent a different gospel” (51).  Evangelical Pharisees “treat those not of their sect with a merciless lack of love” (64).  “Their high sense of self make them equate the gospel with their own particular style; their buzzwords; and their particular culture/group” (51).

Pharisees are legalistic often in the name of wanting to protect God's Law and God's Name.  “In just the same way, evangelicals today can fool themselves that they are being truly biblical. Scripture can be used only to confirm what they have come to believe on other grounds” (35).Reeves then explores “how tradition helps tribes” (35). “Tribalism is the inevitable consequence of allowing tradition—or anything else—parity with the word of God. As soon as we adopt any rallying banner other than the gospel, we sacrifice evangelical unity” (36).“Each silo subtly develops its own particular slang, peculiar dialect, shibboleths, and buzzwords. Its members learn the ‘in’ patter and dress code, talking and walking in specific ways that ape the inner ring of their party leaders. They become, as C. S. Lewis put it, like the country bumpkin, full of ‘the cocksure conviction of an ignorant adolescent that his own village (which is the only one he knows) is the hub of the universe and does everything in the Only Right Way.’ Out of sheer ignorance as much as anything else, the inhabitants of other villages seem increasingly alien and wrong. Out of sight and understanding, they grow horns” (36).

Modern-day Pharisees easily and mercilessly criticize others, but they are quickly and easily offended by others.  Evangelical pharisees love to find fault in other pastors, churches, and seminaries in order to elevate themselves.  In my own experience, certain "mentors" warped my understanding of judging others under the alleged banner of exercising Christian discernment.

Don’t Mistake Your Passion for Theological Precision

Caring Enough to Be Careful

I’m glad there are people in the world—most people in the world, it turns out—who know more about cars than I do. I don’t want good-natured well-wishers to replace my alternator. I want someone who has paid careful attention to the intricacies of auto repair. I want someone who cares about precision. I want someone who knows what he’s doing. I want an expert.

To act as if no one knows more than anyone else is not only silly; it’s also a serious mistake. In his book The Death of Expertise, Tom Nichols cites a survey from a few years ago in which enthusiasm for military intervention in Ukraine was directly proportional to the person’s lack of knowledge about Ukraine. It seems that the dumber we are, the more confident we are in our own intellectual achievements.

Nichols relays an incident where someone on Twitter was trying to do research about sarin gas. When the world’s expert on sarin gas offered to help, the original tweeter (a world-class “twit” we might say) proceeded to angrily lecture the expert for acting like a know-it-all. The expert may not have known it all, but in this case, he knew exponentially more than someone crowdsourcing his research online. And when it comes to chemical warfare, I’d like my experts to have as much expertise as possible.

We live in an age where passion is often considered an adequate substitute for precision.

We’ve swallowed the lie that says that if we believe in equal rights, we must believe that all opinions have equal merit. Nichols also tells the story of an undergraduate student arguing with a renowned astrophysicist who was on campus to give a lecture about missile defense. After seeing that the famous scientist was not going to change his mind after hearing the arguments from a college sophomore, the student concluded in a harrumph, “Well, your guess is as good as mine.” At which point the astrophysicist quickly interjected, “No, no, no. My guesses are much, much better than yours.”1

Meet the Shepherd! (John 10:11-18; Psalm 23)

During Vacation Bible School this year children memorized and studied one of the best-loved passages in all of Scripture—Psalm 23.

When most people hear Psalm 23, their minds immediately run to its wonderful blessings: Lush green pastures. Still waters. An overflowing cup of blessing. Shamed enemies. Goodness and mercy (running after us). The Father's house.

Every one of those promises is precious. They have comforted God's people for more than three thousand years.

But there is something even more glorious than the blessings themselves.

There is the (Good) Shepherd.  

David's primary focus in Psalm 23 was never the green pastures or the still waters. His greatest delight was not ultimately the banquet table or even heaven itself.  His true delight was the Shepherd.

Remove the Shepherd, and there is no peace. No protection. No provision. No pardon. No Paradise.

Before we can truly appreciate the blessings of Psalm 23, we must first know the Shepherd of Psalm 23. That is exactly where Jesus takes us in John 10.

An Unexpected Question

One of my favorite moments during VBS came from an inquisitive nine-year-old.  After thinking about the message of Psalm 23, the group leaders were asked, "If God the Father is the Good Shepherd...does that make Jesus the sheepdog?"

The question made everyone smile.  Children have a wonderful way of asking questions adults would never think to ask. (How do you explain the Trinity to a 9-10 year olds in 30 seconds).  Yet behind that innocent question lies a profound theological truth.

When Jesus declared, "I AM the good shepherd!"  Jesus was not merely comparing Himself to a shepherd. He was identifying Himself with the covenant God of Israel.  I am the Great I Am that is who I am.

Throughout the Old Testament, Yahweh repeatedly identifies Himself as the Shepherd of His people (Psalm 23; Isaiah 40; Ezekiel 34).

Now Jesus steps onto the scene and boldly announces, "I am the Good Shepherd."

This was no ordinary metaphor.  It was a declaration of His deity.

Jesus is the Divine Shepherd par excellence.  As such:

1. The Good Shepherd Knows His Sheep Personally

One of the most comforting truths in John 10 is that Jesus knows His sheep.

Not simply in a general sense. But personally.

Jesus says,

"I know My own and My own know Me."

Our Lord knows far more than our names.  He knows our fears. Our burdens. Our temptations. Our weaknesses. Our sorrows. Our joys.

Nothing about His sheep surprises Him.

Perhaps even more amazing, He knows everything about us—and He still loves us.

The Sensualism of Gossip: Why It Feels So Good—and Why It Is So Dangerous

The Sensualism of Gossip: Why It Feels So Good—and Why It Is So Dangerous

Gossip is one of the most common sins in the church, yet one of the least discussed. We readily recognize sins like adultery or murder, but gossip often slips by unnoticed because it can sound spiritual, harmless, or even helpful. Scripture, however, paints a very different picture.

Why Gossip Is So Attractive

Proverbs describes gossip as a “dainty morsel”—something that is pleasurable to consume (Proverbs 18:8; 26:22). Gossip appeals to our sinful nature because it satisfies our curiosity, feeds our pride, and gives us the thrill of possessing “inside information.”  Many church splits began as harmless "conversations."

It feels satisfying because it:

• Makes us feel important or “in the know.”
• Provides excitement beyond the routine of everyday life.
• Gives us opportunities to judge others while subtly elevating ourselves.

Like forbidden fruit, gossip offers temporary pleasure while producing lasting destruction.

What Is Gossip?

Biblically, gossip involves spreading personal, private, or damaging information—whether true or false—that serves selfish purposes rather than loving one’s neighbor.

The defining issue is not simply whether the information is accurate. True information can still be gossip if it unnecessarily damages someone’s reputation, betrays confidence, or stirs division.

A helpful few questions to ask are: Am I becoming part of the solution, or am I simply spreading the problem?  In view of my role, is this something I should be inserting myself in?

If sharing the information does not lovingly help resolve the issue in a biblical, God-honoring manner, it likely has crossed into gossip.

Common Forms of Gossip

Gossip often disguises itself in respectable clothing.

One familiar example is the “prayer request” that includes unnecessary details about another person’s failures. While presented as concern, it may simply become a socially acceptable way to spread private information.

Another common misconception is believing that withholding confidential information is dishonest. Scripture teaches the opposite. Faithful friends protect confidences. Not every story belongs to us to tell.  Betrayed confidentiality can create relational problems and trust issues for years to come.

Wisdom knows when to speak—and when loving silence honors God.

The Destructive Power of Gossip

Gossip damages far more than reputations.

It destroys trust, fractures friendships, divides churches, ends pastorates, and weakens ministries. Like a spark that ignites a forest fire, one careless conversation can create consequences far beyond what anyone intended.

Once words are released, they cannot easily be retrieved.

A Matter of Discipleship

Overcoming gossip requires more than simply speaking less. It requires spiritual transformation.

Believers should regularly examine their own hearts by asking:

• Am I sharing unverified information?
• Am I saying this to build someone up or tear someone down?
• Am I trying to make myself appear wiser, more important, or more righteous?
• Would I say these same words if the person were standing beside me?

Discipleship also involves becoming a godly listener. When someone begins sharing gossip, love sometimes means graciously stopping the conversation:

“I don’t think we should be talking about this. Have you spoken to that person directly?”  

One pastor suggests giving a Christian gossip two days to inform the person who was being talked about behind his or back that I said this and this to so and so last night.  If you don't, I will.  Gossip culture in the church is a weed that spreads and kills.  By refusing to participate, we prevent gossip from spreading further.