..."for the sake of your stomach and infirmities"

In 1 Timothy 5:23 the apostle Paul instructs his ministry protégé Timothy to not drink water exclusively but to use a little wine for the sake of his stomach and his frequent illnesses.  It is impossible to say with absolute certainty what specific physical ailments were plaguing this faithful pastor.  Timothy's gastrointestinal tract appears to have been seriously out of whack.  It's also clear that his aches and pains were somewhat constant.

We also know from the biblical text that Timothy was a young pastor.  At times Timothy struggled with being timid in the face of push back, potential persecution, and real pain.  Like all Word-dominated leaders Timothy's ministry in Ephesus experienced highs and lows.   He needed a lot of encouragement, counsel, and care as he served Christ's cause in Asia minor (see 1 and 2 Timothy).   As a loving shepherd and spiritual father Paul instructs his son in the faith in 1 Timothy 5:23 to take a little wine for the sake of his aching gut.   

When I came to Freeport in 2008 God had blessed me with twenty-eight years of very good health.  In the summer of 2009 however I began to experience many painful gastrointestinal symptoms.  When the fires of "revitalization ministry" blazed most (for example note this, this, or this) my stomach often "flared up" as well.   My "Timothy ailments" included internal burning, regurgitation, constant gnawing stomach pain, and massive abdominal bloating all of which resulted in weight loss (thirty pounds over four years) and at times radical restrictions in diet (hence the weight loss) to help manage the chronic pain.  After a particularly painful season where I experienced my own "Black Tuesday" I was only able to stomach Ensure and a few other liquid food items.  During these painful seasons I sometimes found it quite laborious just to make it through the day.  By the grace of God I never missed a day of work and pressed in gospel service.

 Here are a few of the spiritual lessons God has been teaching me along the way:

1) I have learned that we often do not realize what a blessing good health is until it is taken away from us.  It is so easy to take God's good gifts for granted.  I have to make this confession to God quite frequently.  I realize now that good health is not something one should expect but it is something we should thank Jesus for.

2) In light of the big picture the 1 Timothy 5:23 ailments that have plagued me on and off  again are somewhat minuscule in comparison to what others wrestle with on a daily basis (cancer, chronic pain sufferers that deal with debilitating pain, etc).  The testimony of chronic pain patients like Joni Eareckson Tada and Tom Greenslade have been very convicting and edifying at the same.  Suffice it to say, it is important that we try and keep our present suffering in its larger biblical perspective.  If the redeemed of God look hard enough we will quickly discover 10,000 reasons to worship God's holy name even in the midst of painful trials. 

Two of Jonathan Edwards spiritual resolutions go along with this second truth:
10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.
67. Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what good I have got by them, and what I might have got by them.  The blood of the martyrs does not reduce the pain that you may be experiencing at this present moment but it does help us keep things in perspective.  My problems are small compared to what my brothers and sisters in Iraq are experiencing.

3) I humbly admit that it is difficult to focus on others when you are experiencing a lot of physical pain yourself.  But just because it is difficult to do the Christ-honoring thing does not mean it is impossible.  With God's help I was able to press on each day in my roles as pastor, husband, and father.  I was by no means perfect along the way, but by God's grace, I was able to weather the major storms of life.  By his grace I am still standing.

Serving God in the midst of tears and laboring for Christ even when you are emotionally and physically spent is not all that uncommon.  Nehemiah sought to rebuild the walls with a sword in one hand and a trowel in the other.  If the men and women of old did it, with His sufficient grace, we can do it too!  Christ's example of infinite compassion while suffering greatly is the ultimate ministry standard.

4) Everything I have said thus far does not mean that Christian ministers should never seek medical counsel (I have done this), or that we should never take a vacation.  Paul clearly utilized the medical skills of the beloved physician Luke and Charles Spurgeon often sought the comfort of God's good creation.  In fact, C.H. Spurgeon said this about the need to take rest and vacation:  The bow cannot be always bent without fear of breaking. Repose is as needed to the mind as sleep to the body. Our days of worship (which were, in the Old Testament, sabbaths) are our days of toil, and if we do not rest upon some other day, we shall break down. Even the earth must lie fallow and have her sabbaths; and so must we; hence the wisdom and compassion of our Lord, when He said to His disciples that they should go "depart into a desert place, and rest a while." 

Those battling on the front lines often need to step away for a season in order to recharge their spiritual batteries.  Let us never pretend to be something we are not; a superhero Christian.  At times I stayed in the trenches when I may have been better served to ask for some time away to rest and heal.

5) God works all things together for His ultimate glory and for our spiritual good.  The Lord has used my "ministry thorns" to burn away some of the sinful dross in my life and to help me be much more dependent on King Jesus (John 15:2-3).  These trials have helped me long more for my real home (heaven).  My stomach ailment has also helped me be more sympathetic with those around me, many who are hurting more than I am.  God works all things together for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28-30).

6) Reformation and revitalization ministries are often quite challenging but whoever said the Christian life would be easy?  If Paul and Timothy endured various trials and tribulations, including various physical ailmentsm should we expect an easier lot in our own ministry experiences?  As John Piper often says, "Brothers, we must not mind a little suffering."

Postscript: In 2014 my diagnosis was severe acid reflux disease and dyspepsia.  When the doctor put a chip in my stomach it revealed that my body produces way too much acid even while I am fast sleep.  My acid levels are "off the chart" which explains the symptoms.  I have personally chosen to use Nexium and diet in lieu of a "little wine." My Presbyterian friends can now collectively burst into laughter. :)

My five incisions post surgery.

Update 2: I met with a surgeon at the Monroe Clinic recently. This doctor agreed with my G. I. doctor's expertise; I have a serious case of gastroesophageal reflux disease. They said it is no wonder I have had so much physical pain over the past many years. The fact that my acid level is so high, even when I’m sleeping, means that stress and diet is not the primary factor.  My body is just seriously out of whack in how much acid it produces.  I am tentatively scheduled to have surgery in 2016. The procedure will also take care of two hernias. The fundoplication part of the surgery involves wrapping a piece of my stomach tightly around my esophagus. The goal of this surgery will be to 1) stop the acid reflux. 2) to help me get off my medication. 3) to reduce other health risks down the road.  I am confident that God has blessed me with skilled medical professionals and that this is the best thing to do at this time. Thank you for your continued prayer support.  God is faithful!

Update 3: For the time being the surgery has corrected all of my G.I. problems.  I have been able to eat normally again and have not experienced an G.I. related symptoms.  God is gracious.