"If you’re ready to decide where to go to church – or not sure if the church you’re attending is where God wants you – you may be faced with difficult choices as well. A lot is at stake. Most of us have a lot of options. And most of us have a lot of preferences, too. So how do we decide what matters most?
....When it comes to selecting a church – a “must-have” list and a “that-would-be-nice” list of qualities in a church. In this chapter, I want to help you with your “must-have” list.
....When it comes to selecting a church – a “must-have” list and a “that-would-be-nice” list of qualities in a church. In this chapter, I want to help you with your “must-have” list.
TEN IMPORTANT QUESTIONS (# 6-10):
6. Is this a church where people strive to live
by God’s Word?
No
church can claim to live out God’s Word perfectly. What’s important is to look for a church that
is seeking not only to believe rightly, but also to live rightly. It’s possible for a church to be doctrinally
sound but have a culture of total apathy when it comes to applying the truth of
God’s Word in everyday life.
Our
faith in God and our desire to honor Him with obedience and holiness will
affect everything – from how we conduct ourselves at work to how we speak to
our children at home. If it doesn’t,
something is wrong.
That
means that the church you’re looking for will seek to build a culture and
community of both hearing and obeying God’s Word (see James 1:22). It will seek not only to win converts, but to
make disciples by helping them to mature in godly living in every area of life.
7. Is this a church where I can find and
cultivate godly relationships?
We
all need relationships where we can receive encouragement, accountability and
care. And an essential part of living
out God’s Word is being connected to other Christians. Does the church you’re
considering provide settings where you can enjoy biblical fellowship, mutual
encouragement, and application of Scripture?
This will look different at different churches – some have official
small group structures, others don’t but achieve the same purpose through other
means. What matters is that godly
relationships happen. And, of course,
these kinds of relationships usually take time to develop.
Finally,
think about whether you’ll be able to invest adequately in the relationship
opportunities the church offers. No
matter how great the church, if you live two hours away you’ll be very limited
in your ability to be a meaningful part of the community. The local church you choose should be local.
8. Is this a church where members are challenged
to serve?
Pastors
are not supposed to be paid professionals who do ministry in place of their
members. Ephesians 4:12 tells us that
pastors are to “equip the saints for the
work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.” That means you should look for a church that
equips its members to serve and minister, and then challenges them to do so.
I
want to caution you about how you apply this criterion. I’ve met people who evaluate opportunities to
serve in a very self-centered way. For
example, they’re motivated to serve, but only in their preferred way. If you don’t make this opportunity available,
they leave in a huff. When you think
about it, that attitude is funny. True
service means giving cheerfully to meet someone else’s genuine need – and the
most important need probably isn’t the server’s need to serve in a particular
way!
My
advice, then, is to make sure you’re not evaluating a church primarily by its
capacity as a stage to showcase your gifts.
Look for a place that will challenge you to care deeply about the needs
of others. Then be ready to do whatever
it takes to meet those needs.
9. Is this a church that is willing to kick me
out?
This
priority might sound old-fashioned to you.
But there’s a hard, important truth here. When a person who claims to be a Christian
lives in a way that blatantly contradicts all that it means to be a disciple of
Christ, a faithful church’s responsibility is to begin the process of removing
that person from membership and to treat him or her like an unbeliever in the
hope that he or she will repent and ultimately be restored (see 1 Corinthians
5; 2 Corinthians 2). This is not harsh
or abrupt. This practice is called
church discipline and was instituted by Jesus (see Matthew 18:15-17).
Why
should you be excited about the potential of being expelled from a church? I gain a wonderful sense of protection in
knowing that if I committed a scandalous sin and showed no repentance, my
church wouldn’t put up with it. They
would plead with me to change. They
would patiently confront me with God’s Word.
And eventually, if I refused to change, they would lovingly kick me out.
Remember
that the purpose behind church discipline is first to restore. Four hundred years ago Menno Simons wrote: “We do not want to expel any, but rather to
receive; not to amputate, but rather to heal; not to discard, but rather to win
back; not to grieve, but rather to comfort; not to condemn, but rather to
save.” So church discipline is an
expression of love. It’s a way to try to
restore a sinning brother as well as a way to protect the witness of the
church. After all, the power of a church in a community starts with its
example. As our generation knows too
well, hypocrisy destroys a church’s witness and leaves its message
discredited. A church committed to
glorifying God and reaching the lost world will not only have membership, but
will clearly define what that membership requires. It will want to be able to answer clearly
anyone who asks who is truly part of the church and who is not.
Discipline
is also important when someone begins spreading false teaching. In these cases, discipline guards the church
against the damaging effects of heresy. So look for a church that will not only
welcome you into membership, but will lovingly hold you to your commitments as
a Christian – a church that will love you enough to put you out of fellowship
for the good of your soul.
10. Is this a church I’m willing to join “as is”
with enthusiasm and faith in God?
I’ve
often advised men and women not to marry someone if their unspoken plan is to
change them “into the person they ought to be.”
Ask anyone who’s been married more than a year. It just doesn’t work.
In
your church quest, ask yourself, “Can I joyfully and fully support this
church’s leaders, their teachings, and the direction they have set? Please
don’t join a church because you think God has called you to overhaul it! Humbly recognize that you have your own sin
to deal with and that you won’t succeed anywhere as a self-appointed
leader.
Find
a church you can be excited about. Of
course, you’ll want your church to grow and improve (as you yourself hopefully
will!). But if it’s the one for you, you
should be ready to join it “as is” – that is, join it with faith that God is at
work. Leave your gripes and complaints
at the door. Those attitudes will only
detract from your experience, limit your involvement, and weaken the church’s
unity.
YOUR ATTITUDE COUNTS
Let
me encourage you not only to ask the right questions about the churches you
visit, but to ask them with the right attitude. Approach every church you visit
with humility. Pray for every church you visit. Ask God to help you see the
good in each church. Even if it’s not the right church for you, remember how
much God loves the work of a church even when it’s being carried out
imperfectly. And don’t get stuck in church-hopping, church-shopping mode. Do
your best to find a good church as quickly as possible. If you’re feeling
overwhelmed by too many points, boil them all down to three:
• You want a
church that teaches God’s Word.
• You want a
church that values God’s Word.
• You want a
church that lives God’s Word.
These
are non-negotiables. You won’t find any church that perfectly meets all the
qualifications we’ve discussed (you certainly won’t find “perfect” at my church!).
But be encouraged. Churches that are committed to growing in the right ways do
exist. They are out there. They’re not confined to one denomination or worship
style. God is at work around the world. And these churches need committed and
selfless men and women to join them in their mission for Christ."
NOTE--- The content from this article (minus the additional book recommendations and the application questions) is from a section in Pastor Josh Harris' book, titled "Stop Dating the Church."
