The past decade of pastoral ministry has been very sanctifying and for that I thank the Lord (Rom. 8:28-30). In faith I am holding on to the promise of Philippians 1:6. "Who I am is in between of who I want to be and what I am." I am highlighting of course the already/not yet component of sanctification/glorification (note Rom. 6-7). As I have said before, I had no idea how challenging church revitalization would be when I graduated from seminary back in 2005. That one would have to be willing to suffer loss of health, reputation, friendships, and worldly success/accolades in effort to build Christ's church God's way (2 Tim. 2; 3:12). Surely this battering accounts for some of the staggering numbers related to the high dropout rate among ministers.
I humbly admit that I also did not realize how much my sinful flesh desired the approval of men. Part of my internal agony and pastoral burden over the years is a reflection of how I wanted both the favor of God and the applause of men. In other words, if a shepherd is trying to establish a Word-driven ministry (from top to bottom) he will find out rather quickly that their are many occasions when you cannot "have your cake and eat it too." A reoccurring test that I have encountered during the first decade of pastoral ministry is this: What's more important, biblical fidelity and the approval of God, or nickels and noses? Am I more interested in building a pure church that is truly Christ-centered or in telling people that I pastor a large and "successful" church?
