Tuesday, July 10, 2018

A Friendly Letter to Single Christian Ladies Regarding Romance and Relationships

The author of this article-A Knight in Shining Armor: An Open Letter- is a faithful church member and friend.  As a young professional and Christian single who is actively living according to the Good Book Dan understands what matters most when it comes to the life long covenant of marriage.  

The author of this article does not think pursuing someone that you're attracted to and have things in common with is wrong.  This article simply seeks to show what is of greater important in the eyes of God.  He encourages young ladies to value and prioritize things in a wise and biblical manner.  As my college pastor Rick Holland often said, "Choose who you love wisely and love whom you choose unconditionally" and "Every date is a potential mate."

"A Knight in Shining Armor: A Letter

Dear Sister in Christ,

I write to you as a brother in Christ who is concerned about the majority of men you are pursuing. It is said that every young girl dreams of finally meeting her knight in shining armor who fights dragons and is heroic. However, somewhere along the way, popular movies and TV shows distort this ideal by either denying the pursuit of such an ideal or by redefining what it means to be a knight in shining armor. Many woman fall for the “new” definition of a knight. It is defined as a man that: has an impeccable fashion sense, is an avid gamer, is a hero with alcohol, has a chiseled physique, has a high paying job, has Hollywood looks, has the game of a contestant on the Bachelorette, can woo you with love songs on a piano or guitar, and is an adventurous “bad” boy.

So you want a man with a sense of fashion?  Does he put on a compassionate heart, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, love, and ultimately the Lord Jesus Christ (Colossians 3:12-15; Romans 13:14)?

So you want a man that slays dragons?  Does he slay imaginary dragons on his TV or does he war against the Dragon of this world (Ephesians 6:10-12)?

So you want a man that is heroic?  Does he “heroically” mix drinks or is he filled with the power of the Holy Spirit and is a man that boldly proclaims the gospel (Isaiah 5:22; Ephesians 5:18; Romans 1:16-17)?

So you want a man who is physically fit and cut?  Does he lift spiritual weights and is shredded spiritually speaking (1 Timothy 4:7-8)?

So you want a man that is financial rich?  Does he have the treasures of wisdom or is he a poor fool (Proverbs 8:1-21; 15:16)?

So you want a man that looks like he should be in Hollywood?  Does he have the conviction to be a man that primarily cares more about his heart then his outward appearance (Saul = 1 Samuel 9:2, 15:11. Eliab = 1 Samuel 16:6-7. David = 1 Samuel 13:14, 16:12; Acts 13:22. Christ = Isaiah 53:2-3)?

So you want a man that has the romantic “game” of a contestant on the Bachelorette?
Does he sacrificially love you the way that Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25-30)?

So you want a man that writes and sings love songs?  Does his life write and sing a song of his deep love for the King (Matthew 22:37; Romans 12:1-2; Psalm 63, 119)?

So you want a man that is exciting and adventurous?  Does his life show that he is a Great Commission man (Matthew 28:18-20)?

So you want a knight in shining armor?  Does he wear the armor of God or something else (Ephesians 6:13-20)?

Why do I ask these questions?
Because from what I have observed you are pursuing, both inside and outside the church, the culturally defined knight. Those you are pursuing are but boys wearing tinfoil armor, carrying plastic toy swords, and fighting imaginary dragons. They catch your eye because of their physique and their looks. They promise to pull your heartstrings and make you feel special. They try to woo you with smooth words and love songs. More often than not it is but smoke and mirrors. I am concerned that you will not realize this until it is too late and you and your kids become the casualties as the Dragon seeks to make war on your family.

I urge you to remember to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33) and know that whatever you need God will give you. This includes a godly man. Don’t believe that? Remember that, "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things” (Romans 8:32)? I urge you, do not determine a suitable man by the world's standard but prayerfully consider what kind of man you should pursue based on God’s standard found in the Scripture and settle for nothing less than a man that resolutely reflects Christ in all areas of his life, however imperfectly it maybe."

Your Concerned Brother in Christ

Dan R

This is part 2 in a series of articles on the subject of singleness, relationships, and marriage.  The author's first post was addressed to single men.