I grew up in a loving Christian home in a solid, small town Bible church. One does not realize what an amazing privilege this is until you experience the new birth, grow in discernment and come to understand just how undiscerning, shallow, and immature most evangelical churches in America are. A. W. Tozer warned us many decades ago of a new wind blowing across the fields of the church, 'If I see aright, the cross of popular evangelicalism is not the cross of the New Testament. It is, rather, a new bright ornament upon the bosom of a self-assured and carnal Christianity. The old cross slew men; the new cross entertains them. The old cross condemned; the new cross amuses. The old cross destroyed confidence in the flesh; the new cross encourages it'.
While growing up as a elder's/pastor's kid I watched my dad persevere through some very trying times in some very difficult church ministry contexts. In many ways Kent Kolstad is the kind of shepherd-leader I am striving to be. Despite these hardships my parents never stopped loving the local church (As a footnote, my parents now serve in a wonderful church context in Arkansas).
When I was in elementary school my family moved to southern California and became members of the Grace Community Church. I have heard many people refer to Grace Community as "spiritual Disneyland." I think that is a pretty accurate description. Though no local church is perfect, Grace Community is a probably a little taste of what it must have been like to have grown up in Geneva during the ministry of John Calvin and the reformers. Our time at Grace helped us to grow rapidly in the knowledge and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18). I have often said that my mentorships with Pastors Jerry Wragg and Carey Hardy were just as valuable as all of the excellent training I received in the classroom. Thirteen or so years later I graduated from the Master's College and the Master's Seminary.
My first full-time ministry role out of seminary was in a like-minded church near Indianapolis. As an Assistant Pastor I was able to look over the shoulder of a seasoned veteran (Dr. Joe Flatt). After three wonderful years of ministry and fellowship in Indiana my wife and family moved to northwest Illinois. Looking back on my journey, in God's gracious Providence, I had received the best training a young man could ask for before accepting his first Senior Pastor role. I was also about to be thrown into the deep end of the ministry pool (with some real live sharks). :) Over the past seven years I have discovered that one cannot fully understand or appreciate the unique trials, tribulations, and triumphs of church revitalization until they have lived it.
Suffice it say, during some very low valleys I found tremendous encouragement in certain articles that 9 Marks ministries published. One e-journal in particular reminded me that what we were trying to accomplish in our context (note the apostolic mandate in Titus 1:5-6) was not unlike what other men were trying to do elsewhere. "The Reform of First Baptist Church of Durham" by Andy Davis was a transparent piece that has encouraged my spirit time and time again.
I also discovered some helpful resources along the way about faithful pastors who endured much at the hands of the very people they were trying to minister to and help mature in Christ (note Paul's testimony in 2 Corinthians). Works such as Iain Murray's biography on Jonathan Edwards, Charles Spurgeon's autobiography, "the Full Harvest," as well as his masterpiece lecture, "The Minister's Fainting Fits" strengthened my resolve to not lose heart or give up. John Piper's goldmine, "The Roots of Endurance: Invincible Perseverance in the Lives of John Newton, Charles Simeon, and William Wilberforce" was also a great blessing to my soul.
During prolonged seasons of internal conflict and opposition in the early years of revitalization the book of 2 Corinthians became my go to epistle. 2 Corinthians is to wounded pastors what the Treasury of David is to hurting Christians. Paul's raw honesty reminded me that I was not alone. Dr. MacArthur has said that he is glad he did not preach 2 Corinthians right out of seminary because he had to really suffer in ministry first in order to understand the message and pathos of this book.
For example, in 2 Corinthians 1:8-10 Paul wrote, "For We do not you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again."
Paul did not want the body of Christ to be unaware of the many hardships his ministry team experienced as they attempted to faithfully serve King Jesus. Apparently this mature pastor with skin as thick as an elephant hide also possessed a heart as tender as the psalmist. The theologian with razor sharp logic was also a shepherd with real affections. By emphasizing ministry opposition, push back, personal fears, disappointments, and various set backs Paul sets the stage to further magnify the grace and power of God. The God who calls us into gospel service is the God who raises the dead. The God who takes His people through many dangers, toils, and snares is the same God who delivers them time and time again! The pilgrim's pain is intended to help us not be so self-reliant (which is a constant problem in my own ministry) that we might learn to depend entirely on Him (see 2 Cor. 12:8-10). Smaller trials often prepare the way for larger trials all of which God uses to help us become "mature and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4). The Divine Gardner prunes His people (including pastors) that we might bear even more fruit to the glory of God (John 15:8).
In addition to Paul's tear stained autobiography (2 Cor.), raw articles like this by Dr. Ed Welch, candid testimonies like this from modern day Reformer Dr. Al Mohler, as well blog series like "Battered Pastors and Toxic Followers" by Pastor Todd Pruitt of Reformation 21 helped me put my own suffering into a larger context. These resources reminded me that my lay leaders and I were in good company. As you read these articles I trust they will help pastors to consider the cost before they accept a "revitalization/reformation" calling.
As I regularly interact with "ordinary pastors" I hear many similar stories of setbacks and suffering especially in the context of church revitalization. Though some of the difficulties we ministers of the gospel experience are self-inflicted, much is not. We are simply bearing our own small crosses in service of the King (Luke 9:23-25).
Here are a few examples of the kind of emails I receive from pastors on a somewhat regular basis: Yesterday, we had a great leadership team vision casting meeting. Today, I received a phone call about another family leaving because other churches have better youth groups. Please pray for me. I wrote this to my wife: "It seems that every time I get energized or enthused here, something like this happens to kill it." We wrestle not against flesh and blood. I know each of you men understand deeply what I am talking about.
Or this..."We got off to a great start last Sunday - the message was very well received and we enjoyed great fellowship and singing. Then the enemy decided to stir up some more difficulty here with a family suddenly stating they wanted to leave the church. The roller coaster of ministry."
As I reflect back on my first decade of ministry my prayer is that this blog might strengthen the hands and encourage the hearts of weary soldiers. That like Peter, when I have learned myself what it is suffer for Jesus' sake, that I might strengthen my fellow soldiers in arms (Luke 22:31-32; 1 Cor. 11:1; 2 Cor 12:8-10). Even when it does not look like it may we hold onto the promise of Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:58, Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.
